Hey!
I'm back.....hope you didn't miss me too much!
Not long back to work after a fabulous Easter holiday. The whole family were home and we had a great time. Feeling pretty flat now with everyone away. Never mind, I am hoping to go away a week on Thursday through until Monday for the long May weekend. Looking forward to that. Sometimes it's good to get away!
Just wanted to ask if you have ever woken up in the morning with the awful realisation that you have broken something that was absolutely fine, and now have no way of fixing it? It's not a nice feeling at all. Perhaps it was by saying or doing the wrong thing and deep down you knew you were doing that, but desperately didn't mean to. I used to think that all things, no matter how broken they were; could be fixed...but not now.......and that's a shame.
A sentimental ornament, a piece of jewellery, a photo frame or the little glass heart that sits on your bedside table? When they are broken, you just want to lift up the pieces carefully and place them back together. Why is that not so easy to do? It just doesn't want to be put back together or mended so you have to put it away in a box, or even; throw it away.
Have you even woken up with the equally awful realisation that what was broken was friendship? Friendship that had made you smile, made you laugh and made you love. Not a friendship that meant you were in love, purely a friendship that made you love.
When you stop for a moment and realise that the break was all because of you, do you hurt?
A few years ago, I learned to be strong again...........I learned, through the love of family and friends; that it was possible to live for every moment and be me again. This learning was of the best kind. I learned that you can really be your true self with someone you feel safe with and who you can trust....
Ever since that time, although I say I can be my true self, I am too scared to ever let anyone get any closer than they need to......only so far, only so much of me they can know, before I break it. There was a ridiculous reason for me doing so, but not anymore.... I say things that don't make me me, that don't make sense and that I most definitely don't mean. For doing so, I am sorry. For hurting, I am sorry too and for breaking, please forgive me.
So my lesson to myself, that I promise I have learned today - Be the friend that I know I can be, all of the time - Be the listener that I am, all of the time - Be the lass that tells the truth all of the time - Be the one that no longer uses words that have no truth or meaning, as I know they hurt - Be the me that I am......all of the time.
So my lesson to others and not just myself........Never let the sun go down on an argument, life is way too short. May you smile with your family and friends as the sun sets.......
Ah hee, nach mi tha domhainn a nochd.....Guess I just realised I needed to be.
Le sin, tha mi duilich, uabhasach duilich. Tha mi an dochas nach eil thu fhathast fiadhaich.....
Jo xxx
P.S. Remember Lewis Lasses, I mentioned those songs that play??!! Loads of those lately....
P.P.S Some final thoughts to leave you with tonight.....See if you agree....
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your joggers; who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to their friends and says, ..That’s her."
All going well up in sunny Stornoway!! Last Friday, Dave, Jac & Baby Jude came up to Lewis for a surprise visit!! We had an absolutely amazing time. I actually fell off my chair as they just walked into my house last Fri as Rebekah and I sat and ate our dinner! Loads of photos to upload! They stayed for a long weekend.
